As an Eating Psychology Coach I work with many women who are concerned about their weight and have issues with their body. (Some have real weight they could lose–others believe that losing a few pounds would make them “better” in some way.)
Either way, how often do we women look into a mirror and criticize our bodies? When something we try on doesn’t look right, our self-talk isn’t usually “oh, this outfit is awful.” Rather, we hone in on the parts of us we think are too big/small, too long/short, too thin/thick, too flat/lumpy. We have a habit of judging ourselves harshly, and that can move us quickly onto comparisons. We ruminate while standing there, finding all the ways that we are less than. We continue to look for outside validation (either in the mirror or from others in our lives) about our beauty and our worth. When we do this, we expend a tremendous amount of our power and life energy shaming ourselves; later we wonder why we don’t feel confident or sexy or happy, and believe it’s tied to our physical shape (which clearly we must change!).
Imagine trying on an outfit that doesn’t work and saying to yourself, “This blouse isn’t cut to flatter my shape.” Or, “My skin is fabulous, and these lights really don’t show it off that well.” Or, “These jeans don’t hug my curves the way another pair could.”
The problem does not often lie in our bodies. The problem is often how our minds perceive our bodies. We ignore or distort our true selves, our true beauty, in the world of mirrors and reflections that others have created and that we maintain. Break that defective mirror. It’s what’s broken, not you!