As some of you know, starting June 15th I’m facilitating a Facebook group called “30 Days to a Happier & Healthier You Practice“. In it, each person decides one habit they’d like to practice encouraging, or one habit they’d like to practice softening. I’m specifically calling this a practice (rather than, for example, a “challenge”) because although it may be challenging, it’s not intended to be something we beat ourselves up over when we’re not perfect at it. The idea is that we support each other, and just keep trying.
Of course as the facilitator of such a group, I have many ideas about what I could do for myself and post about. I have to set an example, right? So my first thought was that I could do anything EXCEPT giving up coffee (again). That would just be too challenging.
A little history of me and coffee: back in the day I was never really into it. I used to have one cup (read, 8 oz) in the morning with a powdered milk substitute. I preferred Dunkin over Starbucks. (Yes, really.) And then something happened–especially after I got a job in the city of Boston–I was surrounded with coffee shops. I got hooked on a morning Starbucks, joining in the morning ritual, feeling all “Sex and the City”. Soon I decided visiting the Boston Common Coffee Co was a better, more local alternative. I started drinking americanos and almond milk lattes. When I moved to Austin, the first thing I did was check out all of the coffee shops I could find. My favorite is Monkey Nest Coffee–where you’ll often find me working.
When I’m doing a cleanse, I get off coffee pretty easily. I drink a lot of water, and don’t have too many symptoms (e.g. headaches). But I miss it terribly. I miss the imagined comradery with other coffee drinkers. I miss greeting the people who make my drink, take my money, and stamp my frequent visitor card. I miss the ritual. Drinking coffee gives me pleasure; pleasure beyond what comes from the energy boost of the caffeine. (Anyone who’s ever shared quarters with me knows I’m generally wide awake and perky somewhere between 5-6 am, even without it.)
So I could do anything but give up coffee as part of this practice. Right? Hmm….
Well truth be told, the group of people who have agreed to participate in this 30 day practice have inspired me. They’ve inspired me to set an example by being REALISTIC, to set myself up for something challenging enough to require practice but to still be ACHIEVABLE. So for the next 30 days, my practice will be to have one SMALL coffee drink no more than 3 times a week.
As part of this practice I will explore:
- what it is about drinking coffee that gives me so much pleasure?
- how does it “fill me up” emotionally?
- what am I afraid will happen if I don’t drink it?
- what tools can I use to get through times when I’m really craving it?
- what needs does drinking coffee fulfill for me?
- how can I enjoy working in a coffee shop environment without over-drinking coffee?
- what is it I really desire?
It’s my belief that we have difficulty changing habits because we focus on the “giving up” part by trying to use willpower. However, the habit represents something that’s important to us, so we need to explore the deeper meaning behind the habit first. What are its benefits (even if we do label it as “unhealthy” or “bad”)? How does the habit make us feel better, how does it serve us?
Only when we answer these questions will habits soften and perhaps fall away.
I’m ready to explore. I’m ready to practice. And I promise you, I will not be perfect. 🙂
I hope you’ll join me. See https://www.facebook.com/groups/1430137057252728/.